interesting things

so, second full day in sukhothai was good, if a bit long. i've working at organizing trip stuff for most of the day - but i got over to new sukhothai for a little bit to get out. i took a few photos at the nearby wat, and that was about it though. i'm feeling very photographically challenged. which can't be a good thing. i think a lot of it is my comfort level and my desire to never offend people. also i think i've just been away from it so long that it's hard to get back into the swing of things under these circumstances and in such a demanding way. i've tapped myself out and it's really hard for me to think creatively. i don't quite know what to do about that. i'm where i want to photograph, surrounded, well sort of, by the subjects i want to photograph, but i can't seem to get in the mood for it. i think a teeny part of the problem is always having to watch/be aware of my backpack, whose near me with access to it, etc. etc. and not being able to be out after dark, for my own peace of mind limits the amount of good light i get to shoot in. i'm getting worried about this cunundrum (no clue if i spelled that right, don't really care though) because i feel like i'm wasting my time here. like, what was the point of coming if not to shoot. that just makes me frustrated at having spent all this time planning, paying, having other people get excited and help me, etc. etc. just to completely throw it all out the window because i'm not in the mood to shoot. i don't know. i just feel like i'm letting people down i guess if i don't come back with much since i've talked up this trip for so long. i don't know what to do to get myself more into it though...

oh, and there was a freak rainstorm, again, just got back to the guesthouse when it started so that was lucky timing as i had my camera out. and i met a very very nice swiss woman...named alex, ironically, who i went out with to get food tonight, and who i am going with to sukhothai tomorrow. that will definitely make things a little easier in the lonely/homesick department (which is still present but generally just before going to bed, and when i wake up), but i don't know if that will help the photographically challenged part of things.